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[譯]雙生火焰,為何要經歷陰魂不散的分手事件?

【巫婆編按】


我和筆者(ALETHEIA LUNA) 產生越來越多情感連結。感受到對方在書寫當下的狀態。大家是否感覺到?

所有的伴侶、人際關係都是投射。任何關係類型的分離,都是為了更大的生命功課。但典型的分離和雙生火焰之間的分離有何不同?我們一起來看看。


Picture/Wix

雙生火焰,為何要經歷陰魂不散的分手事件?

by ALETHEIA LUNA


Twin flame separation is not like typical relationship breakdown.

雙生火焰的別離和典型的關係破裂不同。


When we separate from our flames it’s as though our entire lives have been shattered. The deep and intense love that we feel towards our twin flames makes any form of split agonizing and almost unbearable.

我們和火焰分手時,像是整個生命的破滅。我們對火焰存在深層而激烈的愛,任何形式的分裂都無法忍受地折磨人心。


Having received so many stories from lost souls over the years about twin flame separation, I thought I’d finally write about this topic. Being in a twin flame relationship myself, I’ve experienced how overwhelming, intimidating and terrifying it can get, and how insufferable it is to separate – even just temporarily.

多年來收到許多失落的靈魂訴說雙生火焰的故事,這推動我終下筆寫雙生火焰這題目。我也處於雙生火焰的關係中,而我經驗過那排山倒海的恐懼,而且,即使是非常短暫的分離也讓我無法承受。


Before you read on, please ensure that you aren’t in a co-dependent or unhealthy relationship. The difference between twin flame relationships and co-dependent relationships, is that twin flames relationships are defined by respect, equality, negotiation and healthy boundaries. On the other hand, co-dependent relationships are characterized by feeling trapped, unequal, devalued and reliant on the other for a sense of self-worth. Unfortunately, it is possible to confuse co-dependency with twin flame love. Please be careful of confusing the two.

繼續閱讀前,請確保自己不在一段相互依賴或不健康的關係當中。雙生火焰關係和互相依賴的關係之間的區別,在於雙生火焰之間存在尊重、平等、討論和健康的界線。相反,相互依存的關係會感覺泥足深陷、不平等、不值得,又依賴對方來獲得自我價值。可惜,我們很難區分這兩種愛。請小心混淆了兩者。


5 Causes of Twin Flame Separation

5個造成雙生火焰分離的原因


One of the most painful stages is the twin flame relationship that of the “Runner and Chaser.” After the initial stages of ecstatic union and fairy-tale partnership, things start to heat up. Egos begin to clash. Core wounds, insecurities and traumas are rubbed raw. Shadow Selves lash out.

雙生火焰最痛苦的階段是「追逐期」(想譯成「阿崩叫狗——越叫越走」)。經過最初的欣喜若狂,如童話般在一起的階段,事情開始升溫。核心的傷口、不安和創傷,讓小我產生摩擦。自我的陰影會粗暴地發動攻擊。


As a result, it’s inevitable that almost every twin flame relationship battles through drama and dysfunction at first. Understandably, this comes as a devastating shock. What happened to the perfect, rosy relationship paradise where everything was kisses and cuddles? At this point, many twin flame couples wind up confused and disorientated. Was it all a lie? Was it all an illusion?

於是,難以避免地,幾乎每對雙生火焰都會不斷戲劇性地開火再冷戰。不難理解,這會帶來毀滅性的衝擊。這完美的關係、充滿親吻和依偎的天堂發生了什麼事?在此階段,雙生火焰們以困惑與迷失方向結束關係。這一切都是謊言?是幻覺?


The answer is “no.” The intensity you experienced was not a figment of your imagination. The sense of familiarity and déjà vu you felt wasn’t a mystical apparition. It was real. Don’t doubt it. It’s simply buried under the layers of your damaged egos.

答案是:「否。」如此強烈的體驗並非你虛構的幻想。這似曾相識的感覺也不是迷亂的幻影。這是真實的。不要質疑,你們之間的愛純粹是被受傷的自我埋起來了而已。


It could be said that the sole purpose of twin flame relationships is to help us soulfully mature and become the best versions of ourselves possible. In fact, despite how difficult they can be, twin flame relationships are so powerful because they are catalysts of growth. Our twin flames help to ruthlessly expose the dark, disowned, fractured parts of ourselves that we’ve hidden away. Not only that, but our twin flames provoke our inner growth by unintentionally (or intentionally) irking us. The anger we feel towards them is only really a reflection of the anger we feel towards ourselves.

可以說,雙生火焰關係的核心目標是要幫助我們的靈魂成熟,盡可能成為最好的自己。實際上,儘管路途甚艱難,雙生火焰強大在於它是成長的催化劑。我們的雙生火焰幫助我們無情地揭露黑暗、拒絕承認、破碎了的隱藏自我。不僅如此,火焰會有意無意地挑釁我們,激起憤怒來刺激內在成長。我們對他們的憤怒,其實是對自己憤怒的投射。


Sometimes one, or both partners in a twin flame relationship become so infuriated and incapable of co-existing that they separate. What is the cause of twin flame separation? We’ll see below:

有時,雙生火焰的其中一方或雙方會因為太過憤怒而無法共存,所以會分開。那麼導致雙生火焰分離的原因有哪些?見下文:


1. Psychological and spiritual immaturity未成熟的心理和靈性狀態


Life is a process of growth. Not only do our physical bodies grow, but our inner selves grow as well. One of the primary causes of twin flame separation is immaturity. When we’re immature, we have low emotional intelligence meaning that we struggle to identify, manage and cope with our emotions and those of others. Not only that, but spiritual immaturity thrives in proportion to the stubbornness and magnitude of the ego. In other words, the bigger the ego self, the less harmony there is. The ego wants to believe itself to be charming, magnificent, all-knowing, and perfect. But when it is challenged in any way, shape, or form, there is hell to pay.

生命是成長的過程,不僅身體會生長,內在的自我也如此。不夠成熟是雙生火焰分離的原因。未成熟的時候,我們的低EQ會辨認、管理、解決這些自己和他人的情感。不僅如此,靈性成熟,與自我執著和自我重要感成反比。換而言之,我們的自我越大,關係的和諧感越低。自我想要的是閃耀、華麗、無所不知與完美的自己。但當它備受任何形式的挑戰時,就會付出代價。


Almost all of us are ruled by the ego self – if we weren’t, we’d be enlightened. But not all egos are the same. There are strong egos, and there are weak egos. The stronger an ego is, the more likely it is to run away from a person or situation which makes it feel impotent. Twin flame relationships are one such place. In fact, twin flame relationships are essentially made to dissolve the ego … and the ego despises that.

幾乎所有人都是自我主導的,若非如此,我們將備受啟迪。當然不是所有的自我都一樣。有些較強,有些則較弱。越強大的自我越有可能因為覺得自己無能,而從某人或某情境中逃走。雙生火焰的關係會被置入其中。火焰關係的本質會讓自我溶解,但自我卻對此嗤之以鼻。


2. Lack of self-love and respect 缺乏自愛和尊重


The major requirement necessary for functioning smoothly in a twin flame relationship seems to be self-love. For example, before Sol and I met, we both worked on loving and accepting the people we were. This is also true for other successful twin flame partnerships.

讓雙生火焰關係持續運作的首要條件,是自愛。與Sol相遇前,我們都嘗試接受自己的模樣。這也真實地出現在其他雙生火焰關係中。


Without self-love, there can be no genuine love for others. Instead, the love is tainted with neediness, co-dependency and “conditions.” We can never give unconditional love to our partners without first showing fierce unconditional love towards ourselves. As a result of this, some twin flame relationships unfortunately crumble under the weight of insecurity and self-hatred.

沒有自愛,我們無法純粹地愛他人。愛不是索取情感、相互依賴以及「條件」。唯有先熱烈地自愛,我們才能給予另一半無條件的愛。因此,不安和憎恨自己的重壓,讓一些雙生火焰的關係崩潰。


3. More life lessons need to be learned 還有「課」要上


Life needs to prepare you before you enter a twin flame relationship. Sometimes this means that you need to enter other relationships, establish new friendships, or expand your life experience (travel, volunteer, get a new job) before you’re ready. This is all a matter of trial and error. Some circumstances will bestow you with gentle insight, and others will leave you crushed and fighting for air. Whatever the case, don’t shut yourself off from the world. The more you test your boundaries, the more you learn.

生命會在你進入一段火焰關係前給予你準備,有時它意味著你需要其他關係,例如認識新朋友或者拓展生命經驗(旅行、志工和新工作)。有些情況會賜予你溫和的啟迪,有的則會讓你碎裂,並在烈風中抵抗。無論是哪種情況,請不要關閉你和世界的大門。你越能嘗試跨越界線,學到的越豐富。


4. Healing needs to occur 仍需療癒


Sometimes our twin flames show up at a point in life when we are suffering immensely. Our suffering may come from a tragedy, death, form of abuse or even another relationship breakup. We may not emotionally be in a place to open up yet. Therefore, a process of healing may be necessary first.

有時,雙生火焰會在我們沈浸在痛苦的時候出現。這些痛可能來自於悲劇、死亡、或來自其他破裂關係的侮辱。我們或許無法開放情感的心房。因此需要先療傷。


5. It’s just not the time yet 時機不對


Life can be mysterious. Sometimes twin flame separation occurs because the moment in time isn’t right. Sometimes other journeys need to be completed, and other people need to be met. Sometimes we don’t even know the reason why. The best thing to do in this situation is to surrender. This can be extremely hard, but trust that the experience will help you grow stronger and wiser. Who knows what the future brings?

生命是神秘的。有時雙生火焰分開是因為現在不是合適的時候。有時其他的旅程還沒走完,而我們還需要和其他人相遇。我們甚至常不知原因。此時最能夠做的事情是臣服。這是困難的,但要相信這段旅程會讓你變得強壯與睿智。你怎麼知道將來的事情呢?


【巫婆編按】


  • 自我或小我,都是大我或靈魂的一部分,因為我們的靈魂接納所有不完美、愛逃避、憤怒的自己。一直以來,它們和諧共處。

  • 靈魂知道小我有許多恐懼,他安排相應的人生功課,讓我們面對小我的害怕和限制,放下那些讓我們作繭自縛的執著,並意識到是自己身邊厚厚的圍牆擋住了慈悲和溫暖進入心房。

  • 隨著靈性成長,我們會經歷覺知自我、認識自我、療癒自我、以及放下自我幾個階段。大多數時刻,我們需要在這幾個階段中不斷巡迴往復。

  • 而更精準地說,我們消融的,是自我設下的邊界,而不是自我本身。

  • 當我們越能夠認識自我的框框和邊界,看到自我的限制,嘗試消融自我設下的圍牆之際,便越能超越個體限制,理解那極端不同的火焰愛侶,並嘗試尊重、同情共感,並給予無條件的愛。

  • 所以,我們越能對自己的自我框架和傷痕慈悲,也越能對雙生火焰給予無條件的愛。

  • 而自我從此就沒有邊界了嗎?也未必。在極少數時候,我們仍然感到憤怒、嫉妒、不安,但我們能用愛與慈悲來安撫這些情緒(無論那來自他人還是自己)。

  • 消融掉自我的圍牆之後,自我本身仍有存在的必要。自我,定義「我是誰」,幫助我們找到身分認同與發光的舞台,知道自己在世界上的位置與職責。所以,我們會更積極與勇敢地承認,而不是逃避我們在此世的擁有的性格資源、天賦、個性和品質。


【原作者介紹@LonerWolf】

Walk the path less travelled

走向那讓你飛越的路途


Our names are Aletheia Luna and Mateo Sol and we currently live in Perth, Western Australia.

我們是Aletheia Luna和Mateo Sol,現居Perth (Western Australia)。


Our mission is to help others embrace the path of the lone wolf and listen to the soul’s calling. Our goal is to provide a grounded and balanced perspective of spirituality that doesn’t bypass the raw, real, and messy aspects of spiritual growth or psychological development.

我們的使命是幫助他人擁抱孤獨的旅程,傾聽靈魂的召喚。我們不繞過最粗糙、真實又混亂的面向——那靈性和心理成長必經之路,讓靈性更「接地氣」以及中立。


We are deeply drawn to exploring and exposing both the light and shadow side of human nature and spirituality. We strive towards integration, balance, wholeness, and embracing both the sacred and wild aspects of being human. Read more.

我們深入探索和揭露人性的光輝和陰影。我們駛向整合、平和、「一」的道路,擁抱人類最神聖和野性的面向。閱讀更多

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