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  • Writer's picture占星小巫珊





Our Twin Flames, or Twin Souls, are said to be our perfect vibrational matches in this world.



We unite with our Twin Flames to experience soulful transformation and the fulfillment of our personal potentials in this life.



However, connecting with our Twin Flames is an intense, overwhelming and sometimes excruciating experience. This is because it riles up old fears, wounds and ego blockages. As a result, every Twin Flame relationship eventually experiences what we refer to as the “runner and chaser” dynamic.

然而,和雙生火焰連結的體驗是緊湊、驚人而困窘的。因為這會把古舊的恐懼、傷痕、封閉的小我弄得煩躁不安。結果,每對雙生火焰終體驗被我們稱為「逃逸追逐」牽引 (“runner and chaser” dynamic)。


This period of life is both complex and extremely distressing for both partners who, deep down, simply desire Union.



What is the Twin Flame Runner and Chaser Dynamic?



When we think about the Twin Flame relationship in terms of stages, the Runner and Chaser dynamic represents stage six. It is preceded by a level of immense inner turmoil as personality differences, egos and old core wounds flare up. Eventually, as tensions rise to an explosive level, the only “way out” is to try and escape from the relationship in some shape or form. This process of distancing or “running” can be either physical or psychological, or both.



Often running away from the intense love within a Twin Flame relationship involves returning back to an ex-partner, traveling, silent treatments, constant arguments, workaholism or simply leaving for no clear reason.



In this stage, the Runner often represents the more wounded “younger” soul, and the Chaser often represents the more mature “older” soul. In other words, while one partner is open to the purifying fires of love, the other finds the dissolution of their boundaries intimidating and too much to handle.



When Luna and I got together, we too experienced the twin flame runner and chaser stage. For us, this was a tormenting time because we felt so much love for each other, yet we could barely sit peacefully in the same room together. Almost every day we would argue and clash, sometimes even into the early hours of the morning. While Luna played the role of the (emotional) Runner, I played the role of the Chaser.



For us, this stage carried on for about 6 intense months, and then more mildly for another 1-3 years. However, the Twin Flame runner and chaser stage can vary greatly from couple to couple.



6 Ways to Reunite With Your Twin Flame



If you are in the Twin Flame runner and chaser stage, you might be feeling extremely vulnerable, angry, overwhelmed and confused at the moment.



I want to share with you six tips that have helped us to personally get through this stage. You can read more about the runner and chaser stage in our Twin Flame book:

我想和你分享六個曾幫助過我們親自完成這一階段的貼士。(You can read more about the runner and chaser stage in our Twin Flame book:)


1. Is your twin flame really trying to hurt you?

1. 你的火焰真的想傷害你嗎?


Firstly, it’s important that you ensure that you’re not actually in a co-dependent or emotionally abusive relationship. Unfortunately for some couples, this could be a very real possibility. Don’t confuse arguments, differences in character and insecurity for the more sinister forms of manipulation, control, and abuse. If you think this may be a problem for you, read through the three types of emotional abuse.

首先,很重要的是,你要確定自己並非在一段過度依賴或情感虐待的關係中。不幸的是,對某些情侶來說,這真的有可能。不要把你們之間的差異、爭吵和不安、混淆了更加壞的操縱、控制和虐待。如果你在這裡有疑難:請閱讀三種情感虐待的類型(emotional abuse).


If you are in a Twin Flame relationship, it will be clear that your partner doesn’t intend to cause you harm. The harm they cause you is unintentional and is a product of their own unresolved pain. However, if you’re in an abusive relationship, it will be clear that the harm your partner causes you is intentional. 



2. Think about what it is that triggers you in your partner’s behavior.



A trigger can be anything from a certain look, a tone of voice, a phrase, an action, or anything that “triggers” an emotional response within you. Once you have discovered what it is that triggers you (e.g. when your partner starts becoming opinionated), you may like to ask, “Why does that bother me so much?” Try to go deeper than answers like, “He thinks he knows everything,” or “She isn’t listening to what I’m saying.” Find the emotion that is attached to the trigger – for instance, annoyance, bitterness or resentment – and keep digging deeper. It is likely that you will uncover many harmful ideals, beliefs and personal issues beneath your layers of emotion.



Here is an example: You get offended and aloof every time your partner interrupts you. You then ask, “Why is that?” You get upset because he isn’t respecting what you’re saying. “Why is that a problem?” That’s a problem because it feels like he doesn’t love you. “Why is that an issue?” You feel alone and abandoned. Here we can see that the true issue is the underlying fear of being alone and unappreciated.



3. Learn to openly communicate with your twin flame.



Open communication rarely comes naturally. Instead, it is something that the majority of us have to learn and master throughout our lives. When we fail to communicate openly we hide our emotions, keep our thoughts and perspectives to ourselves, and don’t speak up when something bothers us. If something bothers you about your partner’s behavior it is much better to openly and gently talk with them about it rather than hide it away and let it fester. Open communication is something the two of you should openly discuss and agree to work on. For an excellent open communication guide, we recommend reading “Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life” by Marshall Rosenberg.

開放溝通很少自然而然地發生。反之,這是大部分人一生中需要學習和掌握的。當我們無法開放地表達、隱藏情緒、只對自己保有觀點以及視角的話,我們在被煩擾時也無法發聲。如果你對伴侶的行為感到煩厭,不如開放與溫和地和他們討論這件事,而不是藏起來任由其腐爛。開誠佈公是你們兩個需要開放討論並同意繼續努力的。關於出色的開放溝通指南,我們建議閱讀這本Marshall Rosenberg所撰寫的《非暴力溝通:愛的語言》一書。


4. Learn how to empathize with your twin flame’s perspective.

4. 學習從雙生火焰的角度同理


This can be extremely hard to do, especially when you’re caught up in your own perceptions and feelings, but it is worth learning. Why? Developing this skill will help you to develop empathy, and this will help your relationship to mature immensely. We recommend starting with the practice of mindfulness. Mindfulness can be practiced through a traditional meditation practice, by learning to live in the moment, by spending time alone in reflection, by mindful breathing, and many other methods. The more proficient you become at learning how to observe instead of react to your emotions, the easier it will be for you to empathize with your Twin Flame. Remember that your partner grew up in a different context and therefore possesses different life experiences, different genetics and a different personality. Remember that what they think, feel and believe is true for them but not necessarily true for you, and respect that.



5. Ask, “What am I being taught?”



Whenever you both get into a squabble or experience tension, ask yourself, “What is it that my Twin Flame is trying to teach me through their words or actions right now?” Perhaps you need to develop more patience, understanding or forgiveness. In the end, our twin flames are like vessels through which the harshest, but most valuable lessons of life are transmitted. Only when you open yourself to learning these lessons can you grow as a person.



6. Forgive each other

6. 互相寬恕


Realize that each of you carry your own different types of pain. Every argument and every rash and hurtful decision is a product of unresolved pain. When you both learn to understand this, you can both forgive each other and allow the love you feel to cleanse all wounds.



Twin flames expose the shadow qualities and core wounds within us, helping them to be brought to the light. While this period of your relationship might feel eternal, its purpose is to help you heal, open and learn how to embody unconditionally love.




Walk the path less travelled



Our names are Aletheia Luna and Mateo Sol and we currently live in Perth, Western Australia.

我們的名字是Aletheia Luna和Mateo Sol,現居Perth (Western Australia)。


Our mission is to help others embrace the path of the lone wolf and listen to the soul’s calling. Our goal is to provide a grounded and balanced perspective of spirituality that doesn’t bypass the raw, real, and messy aspects of spiritual growth or psychological development.



We are deeply drawn to exploring and exposing both the light and shadow side of human nature and spirituality. We strive towards integration, balance, wholeness, and embracing both the sacred and wild aspects of being human. Read more.


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