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[譯]離別的雙生火焰:如何打破抑鬱、焦慮而痛苦的循環


[譯]離別的雙生火焰:如何打破抑鬱、焦慮而痛苦的循環

by ALETHEIA LUNA


Original:https://lonerwolf.com/twin-flame-separation-pain/


Losing your twin flame is one of the hardest things you will ever experience.

Whether through death, circumstance or the inability to coexist together, twin flame separation is a nightmare.

The absence you feel is profoundly incapacitating.

The loss you struggle with is like black quicksand.

Your crushed hopes and dreams cling to you like shrapnel.

You walk through life feeling numb, empty, lost.

There is nothing in life that can quite compare to the deep and intense grief of losing your beloved.


失去雙生火焰是生命中最艱難的經驗之一。

無論火焰們因死亡、環境因素還是無法共處而分開,都是一場惡夢。

匱乏感令人無能為力。

你所失去的,像是不斷流失的黑沙,吞噬一切。

你破碎的希望和夢想像流彈般侵襲。

你走過麻木、行屍走肉又迷失的路。

失去心愛的人帶來的悲傷如此深刻而強烈,生命中沒有其他事能與之相提並論。


How to Recover From Twin Flame Separation

如何從雙生火焰的別離中復原


Grief is an important part of the healing process. My intention isn’t to wave a magical wand and make your pain go away. Instead, my intention is to help expand your perspective and facilitate your recovery.

苦澀是療癒過程中重要的部分。我不意圖揮動魔杖,讓你的痛苦「滾蛋」,而是開拓視野,讓癒合變得容易。


You are a strong, worthy and spiritual being. You deserve to pick up the pieces, heal and move on with your life. Open your heart and take in these words for a moment. When we experience immense loss it can be hard to remember these truths.

你堅強、靈性而有價值。你應該撿起碎片,療癒它並前行。打開你的心,把這些句子放進裡面一陣子。當我們蒙受巨大的損失時,很難會記得這些真相。


Before you read this list, I want you to know that although it felt as though your twin flame was your universe, you are capable of finding wholeness by yourself.

看下面這幾點之前,希望你了解:即使雙生火焰是你的宇宙,但你仍然能夠獨立找到完整的自己。


Recovering from twin flame separation can take months, often years, and sometimes decades. For this reason, always be gentle and patient with yourself:

從雙生火焰關係中復原需要數月,時常是以年計,有時是數十年。因此,請溫柔而耐心地對待自己。


1. Understand why the separation occurred 明白為什麼會分開


Often in order to find peace of mind, we need to understand why something in our lives occurred. If your separation was deliberate, you might like to explore the underlying reasons and causes. In understanding why, you’ll be able to learn important lessons about yourself that will help you to mature as a person.

通常,為了讓腦袋平靜下來,我們需要理解為什麼命中某些事會發生。如果你們慎重考慮之後決定分開,你可能想探究潛在的原因和理由。在理解的過程中,你能夠學習到生命中重要的一課。


I strongly encourage you to read my last article, “Twin Flame Separation – Why It Happens and Why It Haunts Us” if you would like some help with doing this.

如果你在這上面需要幫助的話,我非常鼓勵你閱讀我寫的上一篇文章:「雙生火焰,為何要經歷陰魂不散的分手事件?」(小巫翻譯版本點這裡)。


2. Realize that twin flame separation makes you stronger 意識到和雙生火焰的分開讓你更強大


At first, this almost sounds like a sick joke. Stronger? How could that possibly be true?

首先,這聽起來像是諷刺的笑話。更強大?怎麼可能?


While losing your beloved temporarily causes immense sadness and distress, in the long term it can forge you into the person you were meant to become. Like a phoenix rising from the ashes, twin flame separation burns you so fiercely that you feel like useless, futile ash. But after a time, if you allow it to, this process of burning can give birth to strength, fortitude, and courage.

短暫的失去將會讓你沈浸在悲愴與絞痛中。長遠而言,這煉就你成為冥冥中注定要成為的人。像是鳳凰涅槃重生,與雙生火焰分離會把你燃燒成一無是處的灰燼。但如果你允許,這將讓力量、堅韌和勇氣誕生。


3. Allow yourself to mourn through self-expression 允許自己表達哀悼


Intense emotions are scary. For this reason, most of us tend to hide, suppress or distract ourselves from honoring them. If you’re experiencing extremely uncomfortable emotions such as depression, anger and grief, slow down. Make space in your life to mourn. This isn’t about self-pity, it’s about actively experiencing your emotions.

大多數人會隱藏、壓抑或從深刻的情緒中抽離而非以此為榮,因為它令人恐懼。你若經歷過極端的不適,如壓抑、憤怒、悲痛,請慢下來。讓哀悼生命的空間得以衍生。這不是自哀自憐,而是體驗情感。


One of the best ways to actively experience emotions is through self-expression such as journaling, painting, playing an instrument, dancing, running, hiking, gardening, etc. Find what feels good, and go to that place. Don’t remain static. Get moving. This is a powerful way to heal.

主動體驗情感的其中一種最佳方式是自我表達,例如寫日記、繪畫、奏樂、跳舞、跑步、遠足和園藝等。找到那個令你感覺良好的方式。動起來,別什麼都不做。這是其中一個療癒自己的方式。


4. You are not your pain 你的傷痛不等於你


When we are in a great amount of suffering it’s very easy for us to get strung up in victim roles. Melancholy is comfortablewhen it protects us from vulnerability. But remember this: pain is a passing sensation. It may be a very persistent emotion, but you are not your pain. You are so much more than your suffering.

當我們沈浸在巨大的痛苦中時,很容易陷入被害者的角色中。躲在愁雲慘霧中會「保護」脆弱的我們。但記住:痛苦會過去。它可能很頑固,但你不是傷痛本身。你比你所承受的災難,來得多得多。


Making friends with pain, opening to it, and allowing it to teach you, shows you that pain is transient. Pain reveals to you the parts within yourself that haven’t healed yet. Pain strips away the pretense and illusions and reveals to you the truth of what is there: your wounds, your insecurities, your beliefs, your attachments.

和傷痛做朋友,保持開放,讓它教導你:「痛苦是短暫的」。傷痛揭露了那些沒被療癒的部分。傷痛剖開藉口和錯覺,掀出真相:傷口、不安、信念、依賴一直在那裡。


Pain shows you that you have loved deeply and fully. It reveals to you your own beauty, your own tender heart. Finally, when pain is fully accepted in the moment, it reveals a deeper truth: that you are limitless. You are not bound by any identity or story of pain.

傷痛令你明白你是全然被深愛的。它掀開你獨特的魅力和柔嫩的心。最終,當你全然地接受自己時,「你是不受限制」的「真相」便會浮出水面。你將會不被任何身份以及傷痛綑綁。

Pain is only a passing cloud on the sky that is You.

傷痛僅是過眼雲煙。


5. Our twin flames are not responsible for our happiness 我們的雙生火焰並不為我們的快樂負責


Twin flames facilitate our growth in a powerful way, but they are not required for us to be happy. Wholeness and fulfillment can be achieved without the presence of our twin flames. Unfortunately a common myth about twin flames is that we somehow need them to be complete. This is false.

雙生火焰以強大的方式促進我們成長,但他們不一定讓我們快樂。即使沒有遇上雙生火焰,我們仍能夠完整自己以及自我實現。可是,雙生火焰總被神化成需要對方才能完整。這是錯誤的。


6. Integration 整合


Integration is about taking your discoveries and actively applying them to your life. When you whole-heartedly surrender without resistance to what life is presenting to you now, suffering ceases. Of course, this is easier in theory than it actually is in real life. So be kind towards yourself. Go at your own pace. This takes time. And most importantly: be open to letting go of anything that no longer serves you.

整合是自我發現,並積極地在生活中應用你找到的東西。當你全心全意地臣服,並且不反抗讓你受苦的現狀之際,你所承受的便輕鬆了。當然,講理論比實際執行容易。所以,善待自己。以你的步伐前進。這需要時間。最重要的是:對於不再服務你的事情,開放流走的出口。


One Last Thing … 最後一件事⋯⋯


Unconditionally loving yourself including all of your flaws, mistakes and shadow partsis vital for healing. Often the main reason why we experience heartbreak in the first place is because of our own self-loathing and lack of self-understanding.

無條件地愛自己,包括所有缺陷,過錯和陰影,這對於治療至關重要。那些最初的心碎,通常是由於自我厭惡和缺乏自我理解。


Finally, be open to the reality that life is a mystery. You don’t know what the future holds. You never know who may appear or re-appear in your life. Take comfort in this.

最後,對未知的現實保持開放。你無法預知未來。你也不會知道誰將在你的生命中出現,又會與誰重遇。安撫你對未知的擔憂吧。


【巫婆編按】

令自己完整是需要時間探索的,這需要我們對人生功課有所理解。了解2019我們需要面對的功課。


【原作者介紹@LonerWolf】




Walk the path less travelled

走向那讓你飛越的路途


Our names are Aletheia Luna and Mateo Sol and we currently live in Perth, Western Australia.

我們是Aletheia Luna和Mateo Sol,現居Perth (Western Australia)。


Our mission is to help others embrace the path of the lone wolf and listen to the soul’s calling. Our goal is to provide a grounded and balanced perspective of spirituality that doesn’t bypass the raw, real, and messy aspects of spiritual growth or psychological development.

我們的使命是幫助他人擁抱孤獨的旅程,傾聽靈魂的召喚。我們不繞過最粗糙、真實又混亂的面向——那靈性和心理成長必經之路,讓靈性更「接地氣」以及中立。


We are deeply drawn to exploring and exposing both the light and shadow side of human nature and spirituality. We strive towards integration, balance, wholeness, and embracing both the sacred and wild aspects of being human. Read more.

我們深入探索和揭露人性的光輝和陰影。我們駛向整合、平和、「一」的道路,擁抱人類最神聖和野性的面向。閱讀更多


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